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 Critys the Chorriq Queen

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Kiora

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PostSubject: Critys the Chorriq Queen   Wed May 10, 2017 3:55 pm

(Note: This character is linked with Elias Bishop. Further information may be posted upon the progression of the storyline.)

Critys is a matured Chorriq, recently reaching the age of 20. Critys had a remarkable magically infused into herself upon birth; only one Chorriq in around 500 is gifted with the mystic enchantment. The particular enchantment, granted by the magic streaming in the Chorriq hives, may be only possessed by one queen at a time. Chorriq Queens live for around 200 years, and rule for 180 years out of them- meaning a queen is assembled to her place once reaching 20. When a queen's reign is over, the magic she possessed is torn out of her corpse, flowing around the hives for weeks, until randomly channeling itself to one of the, preferably, stronger Chorriq by birth. The gift is commonly named "The Lujan Mark". "Lujan" is a Chorriq word, which turned out to have no meaning. But since the name already burrowed into the Chorriq culture, it stayed that way.

Notable features of the mark are: Ability to learn and speak several tongues; Increased strength and intelligence; Ability to command Chorriq; And finally, the ability to adapt to new cultures. Queens are known for negotiating with other species for several deals, like claiming territories, resource distributing. They are also able to form relationships individuals of other races. Critys, as the marked one, is currently developing all the abilities mentioned above. She's currently capable of speaking the common and the Chorriq tongue, and multi-cultural communication.

A queen's role is connecting with other species, maintaining a flourishing economy, setting up constant streams of resources to the hive, and generally managing the Chorriq all around the central hive.

Name: Critys

Age: 20

Class: Central Hive Queen (There are several minor, less significant hive queens. Critys is the boldest and most valuable out of all.)

Race: Chorriq

Appearance: Critys has a similar appearance of the common Chorriq appearing on the reference at the Chorriq species page, except a few major differences. First, her forehead is painted with a long dark pink stripe, marking her as the major queen. Her eyes are slightly brighter and all facial features a little more sharper. Finally, her hands are a bit more human than the other Chorriq- adjusted fingers and fat, letting her perform tasks more easily.

Personality: Critys, as the queen, has an expected calm yet strict pattern of behavior. She usually approaches strangers with intentions of peace, and finds everyone equal to one another. If her neutral personality does not affect the situation well, she will engage a more bold, stiff approach, still trying to find a fair spot to settle down things in. She will use her weapons as a last resort. Critys is very protective of her relatives as well, and finds helpfulness in teamwork. She is very passionate about her job and is always seeking new opportunities and adventures. She is basically the ultimate explorer, not really seeking good, yet seeking new wonders and thrilling experiences.

Strengths: Critys, being a central queen, is basically an enhanced version of other Chorriq. Her strengths come into action mostly in battle; she has an improved resistance to all types of magic, has improved movement speed, and can take most slamming attacks due to her hardened skin. She can also utilize some psychic magic, although she's only at the beginning of mastering it. She can command Chorriq and bend them to her will.

Weaknesses: Although having a general resistance against magic, Critys is highly vulnerable to fire, since the Chorriq's skin is built in a way fire cripples it down quickly, yet it can deflect other forms of weaker magic. Thrust attacks may deal a pinch more of damage, but other than that, Critys is constructed like most natural creatures.

Backstory: As the major queen of the Chorriq, Critys must've had be taken with top-shelf care, ensuring no significant damage is dealt to her throughout her journey to maturity. The young queen spent most time inside the hive, being taught basic psychic magic by one of the enlightened Chorriq around the hive. After some years of general physical and magical training, Critys had the strength of a common Chorriq. She got some exclusive training from the highest of mentors, mastered the common tongue and reached elite status.

After reaching 20, Critys was crowned as the central hive queen. All the power was in her hands- everyone, including her family, was bound to obey her. Seeking the best for her species, the Chorriq assigned her sister as the temporary queen. Since she was superior to other Chorriq, Critys decided to take advantage of it and explore the lands surrounding the hive, hoping to find new interesting individuals to interact with and bring prosperity to her hive by setting up trading routes and investing resources in nearby civilizations. She also mainly wanted to explore because she loved nature, and searched for new allies and friends. Her quest came to an end pretty quickly after falling down to a hidden pit, created by magical entities. The Chorriq had to wander around the underworld, travelling through a system of caves and scavenging food from dead insects and small animals. A month has passed and she finally found an exit, embracing the real world once more.

The Chorriq entered a forest, filled with strong magical energy. Without her noticing, she actually traveled between dimensions, constantly switching through every cave system, until reaching the forest. This is where Elias comes into action.

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PostSubject: Re: Critys the Chorriq Queen   Wed May 10, 2017 5:46 pm

So, first, that first bit should have been in the species app.

next, Mind control.
if I let you have this, you will never use it on another player without their consent. If you do, I will give you a warning and put this character into review.

Increased strength and intelligence should be under strengths.

What is the extent of her magical resistance?

For her weaknesses, unless she is more vulnerable to fire than normal creatures, I cannot accept this as a weakness. That leaves a slight weakness to thrusting damage- I can't just accept that in return for all those strengths.
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PostSubject: Re: Critys the Chorriq Queen   Thu May 11, 2017 6:41 am

She doesn't have the ability to mind control. She commands other Chorriq, and they all must obey her- at least the Chorriq living at her hive, which aren't around where she is right now.

Magical resistance means that weaker spells and attacks with a magical element in them deal less damage to her, but she is vulnerable like everyone else to stronger magic.

Since her skin isn't all that hardened and rocky, fire can scorch it quite easily. She is more vulnerable to it than normal creatures, and in general, she is not that strong at all. But I accept all critique and will change the character according to your rules.

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PostSubject: Re: Critys the Chorriq Queen   Fri May 19, 2017 5:32 pm

Sorry this took so long

Well, it's still controlling another's actions, which is godmodding. You have an IC reason for the ablity, but I want you to promise you aren't gonna force that on a player if they want to RP with you

Alright, that's fine

I think this character is approved if you agree to the terms above.
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PostSubject: Re: Critys the Chorriq Queen   Sun May 21, 2017 2:28 pm

It's limited to Chorriq, but I'm not intending to control any player characters. It's a good character after all.

Of course I'm good with your terms.

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PostSubject: Re: Critys the Chorriq Queen   Sun May 21, 2017 3:09 pm

Apporved
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